A Broken Record
by Fukoneko
Summary: It happened again. That dream always crawled into my sleep. But i just can't throw it away..


**Disclaimer: Sword Art Online and all its related characters belong to their respectful owners**

* * *

A slash to the cheek.

With that I avert my gaze to the HP bar on my upper left view. The green line kept decreasing until it turned yellow. I gritted my teeth and strengthen my grip on my two swords. With a roar I performed the 50-slash combo on a pack of monsters in front of me.

It's a bad situation.

* * *

...

Today, on 22nd september 2024, Asuna and I agreed to train together on a dungeon located in floor 74th. The monsters we're facing only consisted of Lizardmen and Skull soldiers. So far we've progressed smoothly, until a rare monster showed up. It wasn't strong per se. But said monster had the ability to morph into a person, and it decided to play the role of a girl in danger. When both of us saw a little girl in a dungeon room about to get sliced we rushed without thinking, and when we stepped in, the room flashed red and locked us in. Asuna asked what's going on, and a memory surfaced to my mind, along with a face of a girl.

"Kirito.. What's going o-"

"Use the teleport crystal! Hurry!"

Asune looked surprised but nevertheless followed my instructions. She fumbled with her pocket and produced a clear blue cube that shines. After successfully taking it out she hold it out on the air.

"Teleport! Algade!"

However nothing happened, and fear crawled to my heart. Suddenly the walls opened and a bunch of Lizardmen and Skull soldiers surrounded us, and now both of us are fighting for our lives.

...

"Oryaaa!" I slashed another Lizardman, and half of the pack are now gone. However, when I looked at our HP bars mine was already in yellow while Asuna's is in the red zone. Fear struck me, and I immediately looked for Asuna. She's in the far corner of the room, trapped by five Lizardmen and two Skull soldiers.

"ASUNA!"

I made my way to her while slashing the enemies that get in my way. Her HP kept decreasing and I prayed in my heart that I'll made it to her in time.

_'Please.. I beg you.. Keep her safe until I get there..'_

I'm almost there. Just a few more steps. I slashed the Lizardman in front of me and throw my Dark Repulsor. I reached out my hand to her, but I was too late. The Skull soldier slashed her, at instant the BGM died, and a small "kyuru kyuru" sound could be heard from my upper left. Asuna's HP decreased and the red bar disappeared. Time seemed to slow down around me, as I look the girl I love in the eye I saw her mouthed the word I thought I would never hear.

'...I'm sorry...'

Then her body glowed and bursted into polygons. Strength seems to be drained from my body. I lost my will of fighting and my feet gave out. Tears poured heavily from my eyes.

"..Uuu..Asuna...ASUNAAAA!"

I screamed until I my heart died.

* * *

The bed shook heavily and a scream made its way to my ear. I sprung up and looked to my right only to find my husband gasping hardly and a panicked expression etched to his face. Sweats were pouring out and his body trembled heavily. I reached out my hand to calm his body.

"Kirito...Dear, what's wrong?" I voiced my concern and touched his arm. Suddenly he jerked and looked at me. His eyes widened and tears came out from his eyes, next thing I know I was enveloped in a hug.

"Thank God...Really...Thank you..."

He whispered these words to my ear, and I finally knew what happened. I circled my arms around his body and tightened my hug, and I whispered calming words to his ear.

"It's okay..I'm here..I won't go anywhere, I promise.."

He nodded, and we stayed like that for a while. Then he pulled back and captured my lips with his own. I closed my eyes and hold his face closer to mine to kiss him deeply. After a while the kiss ended, and he collapsed to my chest while letting out a faint snore. I smiled and kissed the top of his head and returned his head to his pillow. Then I lied down and looked out through the window of our house and see snows falling down from the sky.

It happened again.

On nights like this one. Where the snow falls, Kirito always had a nightmare. At first Asuna was really panicked, seeing her husband cried while screaming her name, and his body shaking like he just saw something very scary. But after a while Asuna finally grasped the situation, and always be there to comfort her beloved husband until he fell asleep, whispering calming words and sometimes singing a lullaby to his ears. Asuna once asked Kirito about this but he turned silent and his face changed to that of a gloomy expression. Realizing it's a sensitive topic Asuna backed down and tried her best not to interfere. However..

_'I want to help him. But I don't want to make him worry. What should I do?'_

The young wife turned his head and watched her husband's sleeping face. His left arm rest beside the pillow and his wedding ring reflected the moonlight and twinkled. Asuna pulled out her left arm and intertwined her fingers with him, watching the two symbols of their love shining together.

_'If only I knew the reason behind his uneasiness..'_

Suddenly she got an idea. The brunette sat up and swished her index and middle fingers on the air and a white screen popped up. She opened their item storage and looked through Kirito's stored item, in hope of finding a clue to her husband's problem. She scrolled down continuously, skipping some battle and healing items in there and found something buried down beneath.

"Sachi's...gift?"

She mumbled the item's name and remembered the name. Kirito once mentioned her. Apparently she's a member of his previous guild. Suddenly a twinge of jealousy appeared in her heart, but she brushed it aside and touched the screen in front of her to materialize the item. Instantly, dark green, almost black-colored diamond-shaped cube appeared on her arms, then she touched the small red dot on top of the cube and a faint yellow light started to glow from inside of the cube. Then, a voice spoke..

[Merry Christmas, Kirito]

A girl voice can be heard from the cube, and the sweet voice mentioning her husband's name made the pain in her heart increased. But Asuna tried to shove it down and continued to listen.

[At the time when you hear this message, I am probably dead]

Asuna's body froze, and she suddenly remembered when Kirito mentioned Sachi's name. At that time he was telling his reasons of why he avoid people, and she remembered that his former guild members were brutally killed in front of his eyes. A tear made its way through her cheek, and she continued listening.

[That is because if I were still alive, I would have removed this crystal from the shared inventory on Christmas Eve and let you hear what I have to say personally. That… Let me clarify why I have recorded this message. I, probably, will not survive for long. Of course, this does not mean that I doubt the capability of Kirito and the «Black Cats of the Full Moon» guild. That is because Kirito is very strong and the rest of the members are getting stronger by the day.

How should I explain this….. A very close friend of mine from another guild lost her life. Being a timid person like me, she only hunted in safe areas, but because of her bad luck, she was killed by mobs on her way back to town.

After that, I pondered over various stuffs and I came to a conclusion. To continue surviving in this world, it matters not how strong your companions are, if you do not have the will to live or the determination to survive no matter what, death definitely awaits. For me.. Truthfully, ever since the first time I stepped into the beginner practice area, I was and have been very afraid.

Actually, I never intended to leave the Starting City. Although I was very close to members from the Black Cats of the Full Moon in the real world and I enjoyed the time we spent together, I hated going into battles. I probably will die eventually if I continue to hold this attitude in battle. This is not caused by anyone, the problem lies with me. Ever since that night, you've been telling me It's alright every night and that I won't die. That is why if by any chance I die, you'll definitely blame yourself for it and won't forgive yourself. This is also the reason why I thought of recording this message. I would like to tell Kirito, it isn't your fault. If there is any problem, it would be me. The date will be set on the next Christmas, because I would like to at least try to survive until then, hoping to walk down the snowy street together with you.

Actually…. I knew how strong Kirito is. One time, when I woke up from Kirito's bed, I accidentally saw your level from your opened status window behind you. Even after thinking long and hard, I still did not manage to come up with any reasons why Kirito-kun would hide his real level and form a party with us. But I didn't mention this to the other members, as I believed that someday you would tell us the reason personally…. I was rejoicing when I found out that you are very strong. After knowing that, I started to be able to sleep peacefully as long as I am by your side.

Perhaps to you, being with me might be of significance to you, this also made me very happy. If this is the case, there was definitely meaning in me coming to the higher floors even for a timid person like me. That… Actually, what I am trying to say is, even if I die, you should strive to survive. Live on, look upon this world until it ends, please help me find out the reason why this world was created, the meaning of why such a timid person is in this world, the significance of our meeting. That is my wish.

Ah… Seems like there is still some time left. This crystal can record plenty of stuff. Hmmm, then, since Christmas is such a special occasion, I'll sing a Christmas carol. I do have some confidence in my voice. I guess I'll go with [Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer]. Actually I would have preferred to sing other songs like [Winter Wonderland], [White Christmas] which are more well known, but unfortunately I can only sing the lyrics of this song.

Why did I only remember [Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer]? The previous night, Kirito said something to me, "No matter who you are, you definitely can make a difference in someone's life." Telling me that even if it is me, there is a place where I belong. After hearing those words, I was extremely glad and I remembered this song. I don't know why but it was probably because I kind of thought myself as Rudolph and you as Santa Claus…. if I have to put it in words, you give off a fatherly feeling.

My father left me when I was still very young, that is why every night when I was sleeping beside you, I kept wondering if that was the feeling that a father would give. Ah, okay, I'll start singing.

"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.  
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.  
Then one Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nose so  
bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"  
Rudolph who was always crying, started smiling that night."

… To me, you'll always be like a bright star that shines and guides me from the opposite end of a dark alley. Good-bye, Kirito. It was really fortunate of me to have met you and to have been with you.

Thank you.

Good Bye..]

A drop of tear fell down to Asuna's hand. She unconsciously cried when she heard the recording played the message from the girl. All she could think off was how Kirito felt at the time he received this message.

_'He must have been so broken..and I wasn't there for him..'_

Asuna looked at her husband and tried to reach him. But a static sound stopped her hand, and she looked back to the cube. Apparently the cube is now changing to its 2nd recording. Asuna waited for Sachi's voice to appear again, but instead of her voice, Asuna heard a crying.

[Uuuu...*sob*..ugh..]

She tried to recognize the voice she heard, it sounded like a male voice, but whos-

[I'm sorry...I'm sorry...]

Asuna gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. It was Kirito's voice. The cube must have accidentally put on a recording mode when it fell after being used, and the sound of her husband's cry could be heard, along with lines of apologies.

[I'm sorry...*sob*..I'm sorry...If only I were stronger..]

Asuna couldn't hold her tears anymore, her eyes poured its contents down her cheeks and dropped on the sheets on her lap. Then a similar voice can be heard from her side, and she found her lover crying in his sleep, mumbling the same sentences as the recording.

[I'm so...weak..]

And with that, the record has stopped. The faint yellow light died down and the cube fell to the soft blanket. Asuna immediately hugged  
Kirito and screamed.

"No you're not! You're strong! Kirito is strong! You're not weak.  
That's why... That's why..."

The sound of his wife woke him up, and he was confused until he saw the fallen cube on the blanket, and he was remembered of the event of that night. He tried to calm his wife down but she said something that made him stop.

"I'm sorry..I'm really sorry.."

Kirito widened his eyes, and he hugged his wife and about to ask her, but Asuna continued.

"I'm sorry.. You must have been so lonely.. If only I were there for you.. If only I could comfort you.."

After hearing her, Kirito brought her body closer to him, stroking her head and replied.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I was actually glad you weren't with me back then. If you were then you could have been.."

His grip on the linen sheets hardened, unable to imagine the scene he despised the most.

"It's all my fault... If I weren't so weak then they wouldn't.. She wouldn't..."

His voice croaked at the end, and he shuts his eyes tightly, angry at his powerlessness. A soft, warm feelings touched his face. When he opened his eyes he could see his wife holding his face with those beautiful fingers of her.

"No. You're strong. Kirito is the strongest person I know. That's why.. You'll protect me, and I'll do the same to you as well." She said it with the warmest smile she ever made. The words she spoke calmed down his heart, and for the first time Kirito could feel that a heavy burden was lifted from his heart. He brought his face to hers and feel those sweet, cherry lips of her.

The two lovers slept warmly next to each other despite the snows that keep falling.

* * *

...

"It's really sunny today isn't it?" Asuna stated to her husband, who replied with a nod and continued their afternoon stroll around the village.

"Yeah, it seems like the weather would be pleasant for the rest of the day." Kirito spoke, savoring the warm, crisp air that swirls around him.

Asuna smiled and then frowned, her minds are fighting whether she should do it or not. At the end, the former option won.

"Ne Kirito. Can I ask you something."

"Hm? What is it?"

"It's about Sachi.. Was she your.." She knew she shouldn't have brought up that topic. However the last night memory kept bugging her, everytime the record plays in her head along with the gentle voice in it her heart stings. Unknowingly they stopped, the young wife looked down with her bangs covering her eyes, afraid to see her husband's reaction. Then, she could feel her arm being squeezed gently.

"Nn, she's more like a best friend. Both of us are like cats who licked each other's wound." The young man answered. Asuna looked up and saw him smiling at her. She stared for a while and does the same at the end. She squeezed his arm back and they continued walking, making new memories and living their live to the fullest with each other.

"So, where are we going?"

"I heard a rumor about the forest on the outskirt of town, we are going to check it out."

"Heee what kind of rumor?"

"You'll see" Kirito answered with a slight smirk.

With that, their life continued. Surviving inside this game together and promised to do the same when they finally returned. And Kirito could feel that his body was feeling more lighter, along with one more empty space in his item storage.

* * *

**Author's note: SAO is one of my most favorite story and the LN was the best books i have ever read so far. I always wonder what happened to Sachi's gift after what happened at episode 3 so i tried to made this story, sorry if it's bad.**


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